You’re on a race track. The vehicle is your body. You’re going fast to either avoid, or chase. Sometimes the ride is smooth. At times, transcendence takes hold of your spirit.  Sometimes the spirit is restless. The check engine light appears. More warning lights appear. You make a short pit stop. And, get back in the race. With one bag packed or a parachute within reach. Ready to eject. Because everything within you and around you is too much. 

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Recently I hugged the cactus within. A chain has been broken. I opened up about my area of powerlessness in 2024. I lost beloved members in the Pranava community. Gained new ones looking for safety on their journey of letting go of expired traditions. The sincerity of our inner current place doesn’t have to heavy a grave, or stay in the shadows. 

The lens of how I saw the world was from a state of fear, and analyzation. For three decades I’ve been quietly orchestrating emergency exits to keep options open outside my current place of life. Because everything in my life had an impending expiration date. Attempting to distance my spirit from my body. Running from myself like a man on fire. Searching beyond what my eyes could see right in front of me. Being born basically legally blind, I was always searching beyond my present visual world. It was a quiet full time job. I would tell my wife over the years, “I just need to rest. I need rest.” It was a heavy feeling I could just could not clarify with desperate words.